Rise of the Woody!
(A somewhat distorted view of history)

Freaki has been carving Tikis for hundreds of years. Actually Freaki carved the very first Tiki over 500 years ago on a little island in the south pacific know as Tik Island. The island was know through the Pacific as producing the best Tikis. And Freaki was the best Tiki carver to ever carve Tikis on Tik.

Freaki carved Tikis for all the royal families across the Pacific. He carved tikis for the volcano gods, the voodoo gods, the rain, fire, storm, life, war and peace gods. Freaki even carved a tiki for the most feared god of death. In fact the tiki Freaki carved for the death god was so wonderful that the death god gave Freaki a permanent pass on the whole death thing so that Freaki could continue to carve tikis forever.

Freaki's biggest tiki was the Volcano Tiki he carved for his home island of Tik. It was a massive tiki so beloved by the volcano god that he remained quiet for over 400 years. Unfortunately for the Island of Tik a neighboring island tribe stole Freaki's volcano tiki. The volcano was so enraged that it exploded and completely destroyed the island, sinking all evidence of the once prosperous Tik and the Tiki industry that flourished there.

Freaki survived the terrible eruption and destruction of Tik Island because he was away at another island delivering one of his recently completed tikis. However the loss of his island home kinda twisted Freaki all up inside. Over time Freaki began to blame the tiki gods for the destruction of his island. Freaki came to hate the tiki gods and his carvings started to show this hatred. Freaki started carving his tiki's from twisted palm trunks. Making his tiki gods look contorted and bent over in shame.

But the tiki gods still loved Freaki for all of the wonderful tikis that he had carved in the past. And even though he carved their images in contorted forms now, they saw his pain and understood why he hated them so.

For the next 300 years Freaki wander from island to island searching for unusual and unique palm trees to carve his new style of tiki's form. He left his mark on more than 100 islands throughout the Pacific. Many local carvers would lay claim to Freaki's Tikis and boast that it was their work. And when the tiki gods would hear of someone claiming a Freaki Tiki as their own work they would make sure that person died a terrible and painfully slow death.

Freaki's hatred and pain never subsided over his wondering years. He began to even disgrace his own carvings. He would sometimes ritually burn his tikis right after he finished carving them. He sometimes buried his tikis upside down in the sands. Freaki would even drown his new tikis by loading them onto rafts and taking them far out to sea and dumping them off the raft.

In a final fit of degradation, Freaki split a tiki in half, laid it face down in the sand and began to carve out the inside of the tiki so that the tiki became a hollow shell. To the islanders this showed that the tiki had no power and was now only a big mask. Freaki felt a little better after he finished the very first Tiki in this fashion and he began a feverous task of carving over 3,000 tikis this way. They would later be know as the "Masked Tikis". Freaki would drag these masked tikis around by ropes tied to his waist until the faces he had carved would be worn off by the constant grinding on the rocks and sand. As each of the 3,000 mask tikis would be discarded he would feel a little more peace in his life.

Today Freaki still carves his masked tikis. However he uses a modern technology to create his tiki images. Freaki may be old but he is not stupid!! Luckily for many of us, Freaki likes to sell his masked tikis to skateboarders who will grind the tiki images off their Freaki Tiki boards.

So if you are a skateboarder who loves to grind and you have a kind heart, buy a Freaki Tiki Board today and help Freaki feel better.